Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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