NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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