I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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