Whod you bang
okay pat passed out under dana's car
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
