if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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