I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
