Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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