What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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