Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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