Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
