i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
