VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
