I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My butt remains clenched, sir.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
