Rock
Scissors
Fuck
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
