Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize