I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
