Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
