Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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