What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you didnt know i had herpes?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
