We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
