On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
