Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
