Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize