I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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