I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
