You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize