HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
