This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My vagina is officially offended.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
