i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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