Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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