so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
