Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
