What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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