Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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