dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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