I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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