i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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