so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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