you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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