I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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