So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
