Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
