just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
