So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
