lets start a swedish sibling band together
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
