i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
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