I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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