omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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