the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
