I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
