My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
