I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
