pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
